Modestly Mumblings-Why Modesty
I have decided to write reaccuring blog post that I will be calling “Modesty Mumblings” It will basically be me writing about my thoughts on modesty, why I think it is important, and asking you all for your opinion.
So today, I am asking the question, “why modesty?” In order to have a reasonable answer to that question, we need to have a working understanding of what I am talking about when I use the word “modest(y)”.
So, dictionary.com defines modesty as this:
mod·es·ty
–noun,plural-ties.
1.the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
2.regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.
3. simplicity; moderation.
That is a pretty comprehensive and very helpful definition. When I am referring to modesty, I am mostly referring to the 2nd definition:
regard for decency in behavior, speech and dress.
But I think both of the other definitions are VERY applicable and truly, it all fits together.But for me, that begs the question of
“Why modesty?”
For me, the answer to that question is deeply personal and tightly tied with my journey of wholeness and freedom(which for has been a journey with Jesus), but I will try to answer it in a couple of bullet points (seeing as this is a blog and you are probably just here for the fashion tips and hopefully giveaways!).
1. When I am walking in modesty, it frees me up to be seen as a whole person, and not the sum of my “parts”.2. I don’t have to rely on the part of myself that is increasingly growing dimmer with age (ahem, my physical attractiveness) to ensure my self worth.3. I show respect for my husband and the other men in my life. I respect them enough to not use my body as a means to manipulate or control. In so many circles I have heard/read the message that because men have had the “upper hand” for so long(especially in business/professional situations) that if women use their sexuality as a way to get ahead it simply evens the playing field. “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”4. I show respect for the other women in my life, by not entering into the mentality that is so prevalent in our society of competition and comparison in terms of attractiveness.5. I honor the dignity of all people, regarldless of its perceived sexines or atttractiveness according to our society.
I don’t believe that being covered up is the only way( or even the most important way) to be modest. Truly, in some societies where sexuality is not necessarily tied directly to body parts (ie countries/societies where nudity is not considered sexual). But in our society, where nudity is directly tied to sexuality, along with varying stages of dress being tied to sexuality, I think it is important to recognize the message that we send with the various kinds and styles of clothing that we wear- whether or not that message is intentional or thought out.
And it truly is a journey; one in which, I am at times, kicking and screaming to obey what I believe to be truth. There is still a part of me that believes that the only thing that is “good” about me is if I can be attractive/sexy(which is the prevailing message to women/girls in our society). There is STILL a part of me that believes the message that I am bombarded with on a daily basis.
It is also a journey of honoring and releasing those around me who don’t share my views. I have close friends (you are probably reading this) who think I go a little too far at times with the whole modesty thing, and there have been people along my journey who have expressed that they did not at times think I was modest enough…(as may some of you reading this).
For me, it is about finding my way through and being at peace with it all and being willing to change when I know that I have been wrong.
So, where are you? How do you answer the question, “why modesty”?
Do you agree or disagree with what I have said? Why or why not?
(please keep all comments respectful of others views even in our disagreement!)
modesty…..well, all i gots to say is “break out that thong on our vacation baby!” HOLLA!
Hee Hee. Kidding.
You have tought me tons and caused me to think more then I normall would have and I appreciate that. Although we may have differencing perspectives on certain things, I think we have “met in the middle” and I couldn’t agree with you more. Plus, these days NO BODY needs to be seeing my 9 month postpartum body, so I am all about covering up. Can I wear turlenecks in July, is that an exceptable fashion statement?
Yay for modesty! I first began to think about the value of dressing modestly when living in NYC in a neighborhood where men freely told women what they thought of a woman’s body – specifically when they could easily see parts of her body. Conversations with male friends also enlightened me a bit to just how aware they are of what they see.
A great book on the topic (and maybe you’ve read it) is “A Return to Modesty” by Wendy Shallit. It’s about 10 years old and is written by a woman just a few years older than us. Secular, not faith-based. She really delves into what modesty is and why it’s such a great and necessary virtue.
I answer the “why modesty?” by saying that I want to be seen as me for me, not as me for whatever body part seems to be hanging out. (Well, hopefully not hanging out, but distracting. Because we all know that it is totally distracting.) I do not want to diminish myself by appearing to have things be about how I *look* rather than how I *act* or what I say.
Also, I am just totally modest by nature, and that is just me. It has been a little annoying in the past. Like, I’d be the one who’d wear the turtleneck in July!
I love that you are tackling this topic! I pretty much agree with what you have said, and with what Rachel has said. My mom swears I was born modest!
I never gave much thought growing up to how modest I was to dress. I guess I am a naturally modest person. Maybe I was never given the chance, having gone to Catholic school most of my life. But when I became an adult, it was never an issue either way, until I had children. So, why modesty now? Because I have 3 little boys (and 3 possible daughter in laws somewhere out there) who I would like to set an example for.